Surrender isn’t giving up

It doesn't mean giving up. It means letting go of what was never yours to hold.

When I talk about surrender, I don’t mean giving up or giving in. I mean letting go of what was never yours to hold on to in the first place.

I know the word makes people flinch. It shows up wearing a white flag and sounds like the moment you quit.

As a teacher at famous schools and an advancing professional musician, I certainly felt the weight of ambition, the need to “make it,” to be respected and admired. I even achieved some of that.

But it didn’t lead to a sense of happiness or flourishing.

When I let go of my attachment to fame and fortune and my expectations of playing better gigs and reaching bigger audiences to raise my status, I found I became much happier, much less angry, and much less anxious. Paradoxically, I became more successful in the ways it’s normally measured:

• Better gigs

• Better work

• Better bands

• Better audiences

• Better fees

None of that came from gripping harder. It came from putting down what was never mine in the first place. That allowed the energy I’d been spending on the grip to flow straight back into what the work was actually for: connection, communication, and collaboratively creating a way forward.

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Know someone straining under a weight that was never theirs? Send them this.

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The famed Stoic teacher Epictetus was owned by a cruel man. His leg was actually broken by his owner. Yet he maintained the freedom of his mind by not attaching his well-being, his sense of purpose, prosperity, and peace of mind to the state or location of his body.

His masters called themselves free while staking everything on wealth and status, all of which could be taken in an instant. He had stopped staking his soul on any of those external indifferents and went all in on investing in the quality of his character and the state of his soul.

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(This is the turn at the heart of my new book, and the paperback is almost here. Details just below.)

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Try this today

Here’s the exercise.

Get out a blank page and at the top write: things I am trying to control. Then draw a line down the middle. On the left are things that aren’t yours to control, and on the right are things that are actually yours to control.

Fill in the left side first, without overthinking it. Do it quickly. You’ll discover you’re clinging to goals, objectives, expectations, and aspirations well beyond your control.

You’re trying to control other people’s opinions of you, control outcomes, and control other people’s lives, like your spouse or your children. You’re ruminating about paths that can’t be adjusted.

On the right side, put down the things that require your effort, your preparation, how you treat people, and your opinion about what it all means and what the actual choices in front of you are.

It’s a shorter list, but it is everything that you actually need to create purpose, prosperity, and peace of mind, because it is all based on how you see things and what you decide and do next.

Don’t fix or adjust your thinking. You can’t stop trying to control things that are beyond your control. If you’re going to improve your posture and your sense of purpose, prosperity, and peace of mind, you have to actually be aware of all the things that you are attached to, in order to actually let them go.

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The book launches August 13th — at over 50% off

Everything above is one turn from Stepping Into Possibility: Ancient Stoic Wisdom for Navigating Modern Life, Work, & Relationships. The paperback and ebook launch August 13th at 50% off, the lowest price it will ever be, for the first day or two only.

Get on the early-bird list to learn how to apply the insights in this article to living a life of greater purpose, prosperity, and peace of mind. I’ll send you the link a day or two before launch, along with the Introduction and first chapter to download right now.

Tap this link → creativeonpurpose.com/possibility-preview or the button below.

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Monday on Purpose

Every Monday, Circle and Inner Circle members gather for a Monday on Purpose call. Thirty minutes where we all participate and contribute to conversations that deliver insights that inspire intentional action.

Here’s today’s prompt. What’s one thing you could set down this week, not give up on, just stop carrying as though it were yours?

Not in the Circle yet? Come join us.

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Onward.
Scott

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Written with the assistance of Claude.ai. The thinking and the responsibility are mine.
Click here to learn how and why I work this way.

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