How to Avoid the Accountability Trap

The Virtues of Putting Yourself of the Hook

In the coaching space, the idea of accountability is ubiquitous. Clients often list “being held accountable” as a priority, and you can’t swing a stick on social media without hitting an accountability coach.

But what is accountability really? 

The etymology of accountability is pretty straightforward, it simply means “answerable,” literally “liable to be held to account.

But things get more nuanced when we add the suffix -ity. Accountability is “the condition of being answerable.”

Is it even possible to hold someone else accountable?

I can hold my grandson, and I can hold a door open for someone, but can I hold your accountability?

Maybe, but even if I can, should I?

If you break the speed limit and get caught, you pay a fine. That might sound like you’re being held accountable, but it’s actually a consequence. Only you can decide if you own your poor choice or lack of restraint.

Others can’t truly impose accountability. Regardless of the circumstances, you decide if you own your actions and results. Only you can put yourself on the hook and take responsibility for your life.

Asking someone to hold you accountable is an abdication of personal empowerment. Offering to hold someone accountable invites them to give up ownership of their deeds and outcomes.

That’s why relying on external accountability never really works. When we fail to meet an accountability standard, we get defensive and make excuses, rationalize, and justify our failure instead of owning it. This feeds a victim narrative that leads to waiting for circumstances to change or for a savior to swoop in and save us.

You and I have freedom of choice in everything we do. Even in situations with imposed requirements, what you decide to do is up to you and no one else. 

Sure, ultimately, results and circumstances are beyond your control. But you do control how you see things and what you decide and do next, which can be enough. 

Choosing how you frame and respond to circumstances is its own reward. It’s empowering to assume accountability for confronting reality, choosing your next step, and owning the consequences.

Accountability leads you from victim-mindset to victor-mind, from limits to possibility, from a life of quiet desperation to a life of fulfillment and meaning.

When you own your experience and your choices, you own your future. That’s accountability. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Are you ready to hold yourself to account today?

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